The depression vibes have been hitting real hard lately. Dishes are piling up, I have to scour the pile of clothes on my floor to find something clean to wear, haven't made my bed for weeks, the usual stuff.
It's probably a couple things, mostly loneliness. I spent the last two months apart from my fiance with no visits because neither of us could get time off to visit the other, so that's been brutal. I finally managed to get a day off to go visit her, but it was literally only for part of a day, and instead of making me feel better it just kind of made me worse because it wasn't long enough to be a refreshing visit, you know? Now I miss her even more. Long-distance was hard in the beginning, but now that the wedding is getting closer, it's getting harder and harder to deal with.
I'm also stressed out about this major event I've got coming up this weekend and I feel like I'm way underprepared for because trying to find people to help out has been impossible and trying to do all the prep work alone is tough.
If I can survive this weekend, I think it'll be like topping the hill. After this, everything is just going to be back to my regular schedule which is generally really manageable. My lead pastor is also taking vacation after next week, so I'll be filling in a lot of areas for him there, and oddly enough being busier tends to help pull me out of my slumps.
When I have more work that needs doing, I'm usually able to rise to the occasion, and having someone else depending on me gives me the motivation to work harder.
TL;DR- Ya boi is kinda sad but I'm okay, just throwing out some reflection, helps me sort it in my head.